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26th-Nov-2010 06:03 pm - Aftermath - Chapter 6
Adam Lambert
  Please give me feedback and/or suggestions tweet me www.twitter.com/MeghanGlambert e-mail me glitterglambertx@aim.com or facebook me Meghan Glambert.

          Adam walked into the hospital asking for Tommy Joe Ratliff, they pointed him in the right direction. Adam ran to Tommy’s room and walked in, he was still unconscious. Adam pulled up a chair and sat next to Tommy; taking his hand. “I really really hope that this is not the last time I will ever see you, but…” he trailed off and started crying. “I just met you and I don’t understand it but I…I love you. Tommy please… don’t leave me.” Adam stood up a little and kissed Tommy softly on the lips. He slowly sat back down and layed his head on the bed crying. Tommy started to slowly flutter his eyes open; he moved his hand and rested it upon the back of Adam’s head. Adam moved his head a little and saw Tommy was awake. “I would ask why, but I read your diary.” Adam said quietly. He felt kind of guilty. Tommy knew he should have been angry but after what Adam said, he could not be angry with him. “Kiss me again…?” he asked in a whisper to Adam. Adam leaned over the bed and kissed Tommy with more passion on the lips. Tommy kissed Adam back and smiled a real smile, for the first time in a while. For once, Tommy was glad he wasn’t dead. “If you died, I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to ask you to be my boyfriend. So will you?” Adam asked Tommy, he smiled right at him, that adorable smile. Tommy looked at Adam with that same adorable smile. “Of course” Tommy replied. Adam smiled and kissed Tommy gently, once more. “Can I ask something of you?” Adam took Tommy’s hand. “Yes of course.” Tommy replied. “Can you maybe…talk to a physiatrist, for me?” Adam sighed a little, Tommy nodded.

          A few days later Tommy was out of the hospital and allowed to be out. They had a few rehearsals and it was time for their first concert. Tommy was playing bass for the famous Adam Lambert. Adam wanted to keep their relationship a secret as long as possible but Adam had wanted to tease the audience a little. Tommy was already on stage, it was time for them to perform the song fever. Adam walked out on stage, his body covered in sexy glitter. Tommy used his base to hide the boner he got from seeing Adam in such sexy attire. Adam walked down the steps that were set up on the stage, looking straight at Tommy. He started singing the song, making his way down the steps. He then walked over to Tommy, unexpectedly kissing Tommy passionately on the lips. Tommy was surprised and didn’t hesitate to kiss back in front of everyone. The rest of the song, Tommy had a huge smile on his face. After playing fever Adam set up a stool and asked Tommy to sit down. “I’d like to sing you all a song, which I wrote for a very good friend of mine.” Adam turned around and winked at Tommy, he blushed. The rest of the band knew what to play. They began with the opening riff of the song Broken Open which Adam had written piece by piece when he first met Tommy Joe. He sang every single lyric to him to let him know he’d always be there for him.

Broken Pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be

I don't want you to go
Don't wanna see you back out in the cold
Air you're breathing out fades you to gray
Don't run away, find me

I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter
I'm all you need

Broken pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open

Let's enlighten the night
We can fall away, slip out of sight
When you drop your guard
Melt into time, so intertwined, Quiet

I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter
I'm all you need

Broken pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open

Broken pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be
Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open

Lay here, it's safe here, I'll let you be broken open
Hide here, confide here so we can be broken open


          As the song ended, Adam did the band introductions starting with Tommy Joe. They performed a few more songs, a permanent smile on both their faces and ended the concert. They walked of stage and headed into Adam’s dressing room, sharing a deep passionate kiss that no one would know about, it’s their little secret.

[Let me know what you think, I love feedback and suggestions. Also let me know if you think I should put some slash in here. Thank you for reading]
8th-Nov-2010 06:51 pm - Aftermath - Chapter 5
Adam Lambert
  Adam stood from the floor and fixed his shirt. He wiped the tears from his eyes and reached over to the tissue box that was set on the couch. He grabbed a tissue from the box and wiped the makeup from his eyes. He fluttered his eyes then walked over to the bathroom to reapply his makeup. He walked out of the bathroom then sighed, soon after walking out of the house. He knew exactly where to go, the street Tommy lives on is not far.

Tommy kept looking at himself in the mirror. He was absolutely disgusted with himself. He stepped away from the mirror and stepped into the bathtub. He slowly sat down letting the warm water continue to run. He couldn’t help but begin to cry again. He was overwhelmed and entirely way to depressed, so he did the only thing he knew he could do. He slowly slid down the bathtub, not holding his breath or anything. After being under a few seconds he took a breath in, swallowing water. He did not come up from under the water; he forced himself to stay under.

Adam walked up to Tommy’s apartment and knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked a few more times, still no answer. The sound of the knocks echoed the hallway. Adam got a bad feeling inside him. He opened the door realizing it was unlocked. “Tommy?” he said softly. Still no answer. He found the eviction notice on the ground. He picked it up and began to read it. “Poor Tommy” he said quietly and sighed before he began looking for Tommy again. He stayed quiet and heard the bathtub was running. Adam followed the sound of the running water until he found the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Tommy…it’s Adam.” There was no answer. Adam knocked harder, still no answer. The door was slightly open so Adam walked in slowly. He looked down noticing the floor was wet. He walked over to the bathtub and found Tommy unconscious under the water. “Oh my gosh!” He jumped into the tub, not caring if he had gotten wet and pulled Tommy out onto the hard bathroom floor. Adam without hesitation quickly called 911. “Tommy!” Adam shook Tommy, he didn’t move or anything. He started to give Tommy CPR luckily he remembered how to from high school. Tommy was unconscious and nothing was helping. Minutes felt like hours while Adam waited for the ambulance. Adam held onto Tommy Joe’s hand tightly and moved his beautiful blond hair out of his eyes gently stroking it a bit. Tears flooded Adam’s eyes, he felt terrible in every aspect. He blamed himself for this happening, he wish it hadn’t happened. For a second he wish he had never met Tommy, he believed he had sent Tommy over the edge to want to do this. He sobbed looked at Tommy’s body laying there on the ground. Adam pulled Tommy’s body to his and held him close, not ever wanting to let go.

Eventually the ambulance showed up to take Tommy Joe to the hospital. Although Adam did not want to let go, he had to. He hoped they would be able to save Tommy’s life. They left, carrying Tommy out to the truck. The sirens were permanently stuck in Adam’s ears.

I know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be
It doesn't matter, go on and shatter
I'm all you need


Those lyrics came to mind. Adam quickly took out his phone saving the lyrics on his phone. He was left there, alone in Tommy Joe’s apartment. He stood up from the cold wet floor of the bathroom and turned off the water. He walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him being careful not to make any sound. His ears were still ringing with the sounds of the sirens. He looked around the apartment for Tommy’s bedroom. He decided he was going to pack Tommy’s important stuff for now so he could stay with him at his house. He found Tommy’s bedroom and walked in looking around for something to put his stuff in. Adam looked in the closet and found a suitcase. He placed the suitcase on the bed and opened it before getting clothes to pack into the bag. Adam walked over the Tommy’s dresser and started packing his clothes shirts, pants, boxers, socks etc fitting as much in the suitcase as possible. He then noticed a notebook laying at the bottom of one of his dresser drawers.

Adam picked up the notebook and took it over to the bed. He sat down and opened it, the first lines were Dear Journal. He realized this was Tommy Joe’s journal. He debated whether he should read it or put it back. He knew it was wrong, but he wanted to understand why Tommy was feeling like this, so he began reading.

Dear Journal,

I just came home from the hospital; I don’t want to be alive. I’m still trying to figure out how this is possible. I’m alive, but my brother Tyler is dead. The only person left in my sad pathetic life. The only person who meant anything to me. I need him, more then anything right now, but he’s not here and he will never be again. I can’t say that, It hurts so much to think about it, that I will never see him again. We we’re both in the car, obeying all traffic laws, he was driving the speed limit. After that my memory is foggy. I was told a drunk driver ran a red light. Mother fucker. I hope he died in the crash, that douche bag killed my brother!! I don’t want to be alive, I want to be with my brother. I want to be
DEAD!!

Adam saw that the word dead was written in big, bold letters, his heart stopped a minute. Tommy wasn’t messing around when he said he wanted to be dead in his entry, Adam read onto the next entry.

Dear Journal,

Today was Tyler’s funeral. I hated every minute of it. I walked up to the coffin to look at him. I felt I owed it to him to say goodbye. When I walked up to him, seeing his dead body there, I lost it. I ran away and ran outside crying my eyes out. No one in my family even cared to see if I was okay. I wasn’t okay, I was; I am dead inside and will never be alive again. Now I just need to be physically dead, and everything will be okay. I went back into the funeral home a few minutes later, my dad was there staring at me. He had a disgusted look on his face, a face of disappointment. When I was 16, my dad found out I was having homosexual feelings. He kicked me out of the house without even giving me a chance to change or defend myself. I am going to change, I will be straight I promise you that I will be straight. I felt my emotions all build up inside, seeing his face for the first time in years killed me. I had failed him, I had failed my brother, and I had failed myself. Why couldn’t I have been normal, Why couldn’t I have been loved? I was not accepted in that house. I can’t expect anyone else to accept me. I am straight. I am straight. I am not straight…no I am straight.


Tears filled Adam’s eyes again while he read the entry before him. “How could someone just kick out their own like that? And at the young age of 16?” He closed the journal, deciding he couldn’t read anymore. It was making him overly emotional and he felt as if he would throw up. Adam closed his eyes taking deep breathes in and out to calm himself down. He then stood up putting the journal away in Tommy Joe’s suitcase and closed it shut. He grabbed some more things Tommy might need and took his suitcase and left the building. He headed home first to drop all the stuff off before heading to the hospital to see if Tommy would be okay.
10th-Oct-2010 08:01 pm - Aftermath - Chapter 4
Adam Lambert

Adam started to panic unsure of exactly what he should do. He started to become very worried. Had he passed out? Was he dead? Adam kneeled beside him and put his ear to Tommy’s chest, he could hear a heartbeat. “Tommy…?” Adam shook Tommy gently, that didn’t work. He patted the sides of his cheeks in attempt to wake him up. “Tommy…?!” He screamed his name louder. Adam took out his cell phone and was about to call 911 but Tommy’s eyes started to flutter open. Adam had let out a huge breath of relief. “Oh my gosh, you scared the shit out of me. Are you okay?” Tommy nodded and sat up slowly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He said quietly and anxiously afraid he had upset Adam. He couldn’t help but think Adam was mad at him. Adam gently put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Don’t apologize, of coarse you didn’t mean to.” Then at that moment, Tommy had done something he’d never imagined himself doing. He sat up a little more and kissed Adam gently on the lips. Adam’s eyes widened, this whole time he had been crushing on Tommy and here he was, kissing him. Tommy had realized what he had done and quickly backed away. “I’m sorry.” He said before getting up and running away. He was already heading in the other direction before Adam even thought about stopping him. Adam thought it was something he had done. Tommy kept running until he was away from Adam then continued to walk home.

 

            Adam had a bunch of thoughts running through his head. For one he was worried about Tommy. What just happened? He thought to himself. He started to walk back to his house. These thoughts would not leave his mind. He was amazed by the kiss but wondered why Tommy had run away. He had a little bit of hope that was totally washed away. Adam quickly walked home and quickly walked inside. He locked his door but stayed in the dark. He could not help but begin to cry, he felt heartbroken and afraid all at the same time, afraid for many different things. Eyeliner ran down his face, but no one was there to see; besides he was in the dark. He slide down his door and sat against the door covering his face. He was sobbing, he wasn’t exactly sure why. He hadn’t yet realized that he liked Tommy more then he expected. He wanted Tommy, but wasn’t sure because of his mixed signals. Adam knew he wasn’t straight, he knew he was gay and has known for a long time. He wanted Tommy and that’s all. He wondered to himself why he was so heartbroken. His heart felt like it was torn into two that shattered into a billion pieces. He crawled over to the couch. His lyrics book was open on the couch. Adam had an inspiration for some lyrics. He started to write.

 

Broken Pieces, break into me
So imperfectly what you should be

I don't want you to go
Don't wanna see you back out in the cold
Air you're breathing out fades you to gray
Don't run away, find me

 

            After that he was blocked. He closed his lyrics book and sat beside the couch for a minute, still thinking, debating whether he should find Tommy’s house or not. Tommy had left him with his address when he signed up for the audition.

 

            Tommy had quickly walked home to his apartment. When he got inside there was a notice on top of the mail he had brought in earlier. He was in to much of a rush to worry about it earlier, but he realized that the envelope on top was something important. He opened the letter and read it, it was a notice of eviction. Tommy was having a hard time paying for his apartment lately. He started turning in his money later and later, eventually not paying the landlord at all. He was ordered to be out of there by midnight. This was the last thing Tommy needed. His brother always helped him with the rent, but his brother was not around. Tommy broke down and cried. He cried hard, tears streaming down his face. He fell to his knees, the letter slipped out of his hands and slowly falling down beside him. He had no where to go, he had no family nor friends. He could have asked Adam for help, but that was the last thing he wanted to do, he thought he caused Adam enough trouble already. His stress was building up; he was completely depressed and hopeless. Why couldn’t I have died and not Tyler? “Why?!” He said out loud to no one since he was the only one there. Tommy stood up and went into the bathroom.

 

            Tommy walked into his bathroom closing the door behind him. He set up the bath and let the water run. When the water was running he screamed at the top of his lungs, hoping no one would hear. He started to undress himself, each article of clothing coming off, one by one letting them drop to the ground. Once he was completely nude he stepped in front of the mirror. Once again, he was disgusted by how he looked. He was a quit attractive man, but saw himself the total opposite. He sighed and looked down not wanting to look at himself anymore. He stood there for a minute, thinking, unsure of what to do.

29th-Sep-2010 05:44 pm - Aftermath - Cahpter 3
Adam Lambert

“So what exactly was wrong today? You seemed really upset.” Adam asked softly looking over at Tommy. “I just had a little memory flash, see my brother died in a Car Accident. I was in the car, whenever I see a light that reminds me of the light of the car that hit us, I freak out.” Tommy sighed and bit his lip. Adam stopped where he was, he was totally shocked by what Tommy had told him. “I’m so sorry to hear that dear. That must have been so hard, I could only imagine.” Tommy stopped with Adam and nodded a little, a single tear ran down his cheek. “It has been hard; I’m still not over it.” Tommy started walking again as did Adam. “I could never expect you to get over something like that. That’s not something you can just get over.” Tommy nodded and moved his hair out of his eyes then continued walking. He tried to block out the memory but it was too hard to resist. “I got kicked out of my house when I was 16” he said softly to Adam. He wasn’t sure why he was telling Adam all this but for some reason, he felt comfortable. “I’ve been living on my own since then.” He paused for a second. “My dad was really into drugs, my mom left when things started to get back. I haven’t seen my mom since. She probably thinks it’s my fault; It probably is my fault.” Tears started to form in Tommy’s eyes.

 

            Adam stopped walking and grabbed Tommy’s arm pulling him into a tight embrace. Tommy’s body shivered slightly, he let the tears slowly roll down his cheeks. Adam gently wiped the tears from Tommy’s eyes and made eye contact with him. “Tommy Joe Ratliff…none of that is your fault. Don’t ever think that.” Tommy looked back down and sighed to himself. Adam kept him in a tight embrace. They shared that moment for a few minutes; Tommy started developing these feelings for Adam. He had this strange attraction to him; he was just so damn pretty and so sweet. Tommy was trapped in his own thoughts he the silence. He was confused. He thought he was straight and wasn’t sure what was going on. Tommy never had these feelings before. He looked back on past relationships, all with girls, none of them ever felt right. It all started to make sense, but Tommy did not want it to make sense. He could not be gay, there was no way. Plus Adam is definitely straight, he thought to himself. Next thing he knew, his body became weak. Adam held him up until Tommy shut his eyes. Tommy started to fall, everything went black. Adam gently layed Tommy down on the ground. Tommy’s body lay there motionless.

Adam Lambert

It took Tommy a minute to realize what had just happened, he pulled himself away from Adam and thought about how much of a fool he probably made out of himself. “It’s…It’s nothing.” Tommy ran out of the studio. Once he got outside he put his guitar in his case and set it back onto his back and quickly started walking home. His eyes filled with tears. This is why you don’t have any friends Tommy. You’re worthless, overly sensitive, and no one loves you. See, the first time you go out you embarrass yourself. Stay in your apartment from now on, there is no way you’re getting that job. Tommy was trapped in his thoughts. He was constantly bashing himself. He kept his head down as usual while he walked back to his apartment. The LA streets were loud, the sounds drowned out his crying. He walked down the street at a quick pace, taking him less time to get home. People gave him strange looks as he walked by. Tommy stayed quiet and kept to himself. He walked up to his apartment and closed the door behind him.

 

            Adam auditioned many people that day. At the end of the day he decided who he wanted in his band. Most importantly he wanted Tommy Joe Ratliff to play bass. He took out his cell phone and began making calls. He left Tommy for last, he felt like he wanted to get to know him more, something drew himself to Tommy, he wasn’t sure what though. He made the call and waited for Tommy to answer. Tommy was sitting on the couch in the living area of his apartment. He could not stop crying, there were constant thoughts in his head about how much his life was ruined. He heard his ringtone go off and looked at the caller ID on his phone. It was unfamiliar to him, he answered the phone anyways. “Hello?” Tommy tried to hide the fact that he was crying. “Hey man, it’s Adam. I was just calling to tell you I’d love for you to play Bass for me. Is that cool?” He asked. “Yeah, that’s cool.” Tommy’s voice was quiet. “Great! Oh and I was wondering if, maybe you’d like to hang out tonight. We could get ice cream, or something.” Tommy thought for a minute about whether that’d be a good idea, or a bad idea. Eventually he agreed to Adam’s request. “Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you at the ice cream parlor at 7?” Tommy asked. “Yeah, see you then.” Adam hung up the phone and gathered all his stuff so he could go home and get ready.

 

            Tommy got a nervous feeling in his stomach; he wondered why that was happening. He got up to take a quick shower before going out. He looked at the clock he had just two hours to get ready. He walked into his bathroom and started to water for his shower. Adam arrived at his apartment heading up to his bedroom; his apartment was very lonely since his boyfriend had just broken up with him. He thought about Tommy and how cute he thought he was. Adam sighed and tried to get the thoughts out of his head. He’s probably straight and you don’t want to get your heart broken again. Adam went through his closet looking for something to wear; he took out his leather pants and a t-shirt, that seemed casual enough. He changed his clothes and re-did his eye make-up for the night that was about to come.

 

After his shower Tommy walked naked through his apartment, that was the only perk of living alone. He walked out into the living area then into his bedroom to get dressed. He put on skinny jeans and a long sleeved shirt, the long sleeved shirt covered the many scars along his arms, some caused by others, some by himself. By the time he finished dressing and did his hair it was getting close to 7. He slowly walked toward his door, hesitating a little. He wasn’t sure whether he should call and say he was sick or not, but he had a thought. If he wanted to be successful in playing with Adam’s band, he should get to know Adam. He walked out the door and closed the door behind him. He went outside and made his way to the nearby ice cream parlor, as usual walking with his head down. Adam had left a few minutes later, he lived right down the street from the ice cream parlor so it didn’t take long for him to get there. Once he arrived he stood in front of the place, waiting for Tommy. Tommy arrived a few minutes after Adam did. Adam noticed he was looking down. “Don’t look down, you never know who’s falling in love with your smile.”

Adam Lambert

Tommy Joe Ratliff stood in front of his mirror fixing his hair quickly. He did not want to look in the mirror for to long, as he didn’t like himself at all. Looking in the mirror made him upset, he hated the way he looked, he hated everything about himself. After fixing his hair he quickly walked away from the mirror, and sat on his bed. His bed had not made a sound when he sat down, it was quiet. It has been exactly one week since his brother Tyler had died. The death of his brother devastated him, he was the only one left in Tommy’s life after he was kicked out of his home at the age of 16. That one person he had in his life was gone and Tommy had no one in his life but himself. Tyler had died in a car accident; a drunk driver ran a read light hitting the driver’s side of the car. Tommy and Tyler were both in the car, Tommy survived but Tyler had not. Tommy sighed, it was the only noise that could be heard from the room, he was tired of being alone. He had found out about an audition to play in a band with a musician, his name was Adam Lambert. He had never heard of Adam Lambert before but he thought being out on the road would clear his mind of the thoughts and memories of what had happened in his past. Tommy stood up from his bed, still not making a sound. He grabbed his guitar on the way out of his bedroom door putting his guitar on his back. The door creaked slightly as he opened it and walked out into the living area. He sighed once more before leaving his apartment locking the door behind him.

 

            The studio where he had to go was not far, so he could walk. He started down the street keeping his head down as he walked. He couldn’t look at people most of the time, their smiling faces would make him jealous, he wanted friends, people he could go to in times like these, seeing people walking down the streets with their friends and lovers bothered Tommy. He hated being alone in this world, but he also hated getting close to people. He had a strict fear of intimacy after losing his brother. After walking for about 20 minutes, passing many people he refused to look at, Tommy had arrived at the studio where the audition was being held. He had arrived right on time. Tommy walked through the door and into the room where they held everyone who was auditioning. He set down his guitar case and took out his guitar. Playing guitar was the one thing that relaxed him; therefore he wanted to nail this audition. After waiting a few minutes, his name was called it was time for his audition. Sitting there just across from him was a dark haired male; his eyes were surrounded by dark make-up. He dressed in dark clothes that hugged his body perfectly around his male figure. Thoughts went through Tommy’s head looking at the man. Wow, who is that? He’s really…pretty. Wait a minute; I’m straight 100% straight. I can’t think he’s pretty, can I? Of coarse you can Tommy, you can think guys are pretty and still be straight, It’s not like you think he’s hot or anything…right?

 

            Tommy bit his lip as the man had stood from his chair and walked toward him. “Hello.” The man said in a soft and sweet voice. “I’m Adam Lambert.” Ahh so this is Adam Lambert. The man I am auditioning for. Adam extended his hand out to Tommy; Tommy shook his hand and looked down at his guitar. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Tommy Joe Ratliff. But you can just call me Tommy. Adam nodded and smiled. “It’s nice to meet you too. So what will you be playing?” He asked as he sat back down in the chair across from where Tommy was standing. Tommy hesitated to answer but quickly snapped back into it. “I will be playing To Be Loved by Papa Roach.” Adam nodded in response. “Good song.” He smiled in Tommy’s direction. “Whenever you’re ready”. Tommy started to play the song, hitting every single riff perfectly. It was as if he had practiced this a million times. His nervous feeling eventually subsided, he felt comfortable playing for Adam. At the end of the song he looked up at Adam and smiled a little.

 

Adam had a pleased look on his face. “Wow, that was great. Can you play any other instruments?” Adam was writing comments down on a piece of paper that was set on a table in front of him. “I can also play Bass and Keyboards.” Tommy responded quickly. Adam looked up from his paper smiling once again at Tommy. “Well be expecting a call from me. Thank you.” Just as Tommy was leaving the sun had shined in through the window. The sun resembled the light that Tommy had saw before his brother’s car had been hit. The image from that night immediately brought back that night that his brother had died. Tommy gasped and covered his eyes beginning to cry a little. Adam saw that Tommy was crying and quickly stood up from his chair running over to Tommy. He actually did care, he wasn’t just checking on him to be nice. “Tommy, what’s wrong?” Adam wrapped his arms around Tommy giving him comfort and figured the light had something to do with it. He pulled Tommy away from the window and continued to hold him, hoping to hear what was wrong from him.

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